This is the saddest first leg of a journey I’ve ever embarked upon. The train is pulling itself away from the Mathura Junction and towards Hazrat Nizamuddin Station. I’m alone but that’s how it has always been. But my mind isn’t. I feel that I’ve somehow let life take my decisions. After Premjit Singh at the university grounds, it is Saeed bhai who has helped me realize that it wasn’t just fate but some of my doings too that resulted in my being where I am today.
I couldn’t stand rejection and multiple rejections for no fault of mine steered me yet again away from a commited relationship. For a great part of my decision was forged in foreign furnaces. My family at home helped me pick or drop things. I feel cheated by my own mind. Speaking to Shahnawaz, I realized that I have to think from my very own point of view and face situations. Escapism can be a resort but I would be homesick soon & I know that! I have to give my 100 percent which the distances between the both of us hasn’t allowed us for.
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